


Same mold, different clay

by Congar



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 08:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14614563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Congar/pseuds/Congar
Summary: Growth Spurt (by Potoo Brigham) and One Falls (by me) both have a very similar take on a grown up Asriel, but the two aren't a one-to-one match, and they differ in ways that I found interesting. As a writing exercise for me to have two characters of the same name talking, and because I felt that the differences were interesting enough, I decided to write this.This work is not a collaboration, just my own take on the differences between our two characters.Enjoy!





	Same mold, different clay

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Growth Spurt](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/380553) by Potoo Brigham. 



With a pleased exhale Asriel tilts his chin up to the sun. The warming rays dance on his face, and he takes a refreshing inhale of air. The lake beside the dirt path he's walking on gently pushes a small breeze towards him, and the cool wind massages his fur. He exhales again.

He's been needing this walk, very much so.

Clear his head a bit, feel that it's not always such a hassle to be alive. That sometimes, it is all sunshine and rainbow. Well, maybe not the latter part at the moment, but with some dark clouds forming in the distance. Maybe in a little while? For now though the sun warms nicely, and the fresh air runs through his body like detoxing magic.

He opens one eye as his ears perk to gravel being disturbed around the half circle the dirt path creates in front of him. As long as it's just one person he shouldn't mind. Better keep one eye open in case he accidentally...walks...into...

"What?"

Asriel opens his other eye, but the sun hits him straight into it. He's forced to squint, but it doesn't help that much. He puts one hand flat over his eyes to give them some shadow.

It doesn't really help either, because now when he can clearly see the figure ahead, his eyes squint harder, albeit from confusion.

"What?" he says again, along with the figure opposite him.

"Are you a-" he begins to ask at the same time as the other. After a stunned second, he manages to finish it. "Boss Monster?" he hears himself, and the other figure ask.

They both nod in unison, and flinch when they see the other one doing it.

"Where from?" the other Boss Monster asks.

"Mt. Ebott," Asriel answers.

The figure jerks back, visibly frightened. He blinks rapidly, as if doing it enough times will change what he just heard. When it doesn't, he puts up a frightened hand over his chest. "Me too," he says.

Asriel can't believe his ears. How? That can't be true. He'd known if there were other Boss Monsters in the Underground. Especially Boss Monsters that look almost exactly as him.

"What's your name?" Asriel asks.

"I'm Asriel," Asriel answer.

The two recoil back, almost stumbling over their own feet.

"What!" they exclaim with similar, yet slightly different voices, as they size the other up.

One is slightly taller than the other, with a chiseled muzzle, and horns that wave their way from the back of the top of his head. He's dressed in a striped sweater, with alternating green and yellow colors, along with a pair of blue jeans with the ends rolled up as to not be dirtied by the dirt underneath him. The tuft on his head oscillates rhythmically as Asriel’s scratching it, perplexed by the Asriel in front of him.

Asriel is a bit smaller in size, and with horns that bend almost like large hooks. They're also hovering just a bit above his skull, yet move as if connected physically. A long and flowing robe clad his confused posture. His arm is covering the Delta Rune on his chest, as his arm is bent perpendicular in half fear, half bewilderment, across his chest. The single numbered strands of yellow beard that dot his face shake as his mouth does.

They both look at each other with deep purple eyes, trying to make sense of this. Their thick and long ears that flop side to side with each thoughtful tilt of their head.

“You...” says one after a minute of staring. “You want to sit down?” he asks, indicating towards a bench that’s placed a few steps away from the bent dirt path, just a few more steps from the edge of the lake.

“S-sure, I guess,” the one in the sweater answers. “After you.”

Despite offering to go second, the one with the wavy horns sits down first with his arm stretched over the backrest, followed immediately by the purple robe sitting down while leaning his elbow on the armrest and his curled fist underneath his cheek.

After mouthing an entire sentence worth of, what would be, ramblings, if he actually said it all, Asriel puts up one jeans covered leg perpendicular over his other. “I’m...I’m confused,” he states.

“Took the words right out of me,” Asriel replies while scratching the side of his cheeks that’s away from Asriel.

“I can’t remember anything different happening on the way here,” he adds with a smack of his lips. “It was just a walk.”

“Same here,” Asriel shrugs while looking up to search his mind. He doesn’t find anything that sticks out though. Well, except another one of him, that is. Otherwise…No, can’t really think past there being another one of him.

Neither can Asriel, it seems, as he leans forward with his balled hands underneath his chin, and his elbow resting on their respective purple knees. He shakes his head. “So nothing on your end?”

“Nope, and nothing on yours?”

“Nope.”

“Strange.”

“Yup.”

Very.

“Toriel your mom? Asgore your dad?” Asriel asks while turning his chin on his hands, causing the strands on his chin to twist slightly painfully. “Frisk your sibling?”

“Yeah,” Asriel nods while drumming a couple of fingers on his angled knee. “All three.”

Asriel’s beard is twisted back to a more restful position. “I see,” he answers thoughtfully, almost in a sigh. Again he blows his lips, and Asriel joins him.

What the hell is going on?

“You said Mt. Ebott, right?” Asriel wants to make clear. Maybe he heard it wrong?

“Yeah, Mt. Ebott. Locked inside for who knows how long. Barrier to keep us in. Frisk made me break it.”

“Alright,” Asriel nods with a frown twisted in thought. “Same here, by the way.”

“Could’ve guessed,” comes shortly thereafter, along with a chuckle. “What’s different with yours?”

Asriel shrugs heavily. “How would I know?”

“Yeah,” Asriel agrees while sitting up straight. “Good point.”

The two young Boss Monsters lean back while sighing against the breeze fluttering in from the calm water in front of them. They catch the other one taking a quick glance over to them, and avert their eyes quickly. Their ears flop over their muzzles, and they brush it off with a claw.

“You think Alphys, or maybe Sans has anything to do with this?” Asriel asks the other.

Asriel’s brow furrows as he thinks, his horns bump against the backside of the backrest of the bench as he throws his head back. He lifts it up again, trying to save face by swinging his head confidently over to the side to meet the other Asriel. “Iunno,” he shrugs, his shoulders almost getting stuck inside his ears. “Maybe? Why though?”

“That’s why I asked,” answers Asriel with a quick motion of his hand. He rolls up his sweater over his elbows as the sun lies on the two heavily. “Can’t really think of anyone else that might be able to.”

“Not that Alphys or Sans have that kind of magic, though,” Asriel adds.

“I mean, yeah, of course not, but who else?”

Asriel lets out a scoff, causing his thin mustache to bounce. “Frisk?”

Asriel turns around, coiling his sweater until it looks like a spiral of yellow and green. “They here?”

Again the few strands on the thin mustache bounce. “No, they’re...” Asriel halts as he sees the other one not bending his chin down to look for Frisk. He lifts an eyebrow. “You looking for Frisk?”

“I, I was, but-”

Asriel waves his hand to stop the other, shaking the loose purple fabric on his wrist. “How tall are they?” he asks with his eyes half narrowed.

Asriel puts his hand up to the top green stripe that starts on his shoulder. “About this high.”

Asriel leans forward as his hands drops down his his side. “They are?” he questions with his horns almost looking like a pair of question marks to reinforce him asking.

“Yours is taller?” Asriel asks back, lifting his hand from his shoulder to over his head.

“Oh no no no,” Asriel bleats out while shaking his head. He moves his hand just below the Delta Rune on his robe. “They’re this tall.”

The other Asriel lets his hand land on his jeans with a conflicted expression on his face.

“This short,” Asriel corrects with an annoyed throw of his hand. His finger almost brushes underneath his horn, and the other Asriel wonders quietly if that’s even possible. “But anyways, they’re different.”

“Guess they are. You and I are clearly different, what with your...” Asirel runs his hand up and down the purple robe of the other’s.

“Same to you,” Asriel replies, running his own hand up and down the green sweater that the other one’s wearing. “Don’t know how us knowing that will explain anything though.”

“Me neither,” the one in jeans sighs.

“Yup,” the one in robes agrees with a similar sigh.

They return to looking out over the water, thinking. Strangely, the questions that takes prominence in their mind isn’t how, why, or what, brought them here. Or that they’re staring at someone with the same name, family, and, almost, voice, as themselves.

No, the questions they have is for the other. What has the other he gone through? How did he come back to life?

Can he ask the other about it though? Is it a bit too personal? Although, is he ever going to have this chance again?

Asriel glances over to the other, and again their eyes meet. They hold contact this time though, almost as if they can see the other one thinking the same. They break contact with a small chuckle to themselves.

What are they thinking? Can they even think straight in this situation? It’s so absurd, all of this! They’ve met another one of themselves! Asriel has met another Asriel!

What the fuck?

Although…

“Can I,” they both say together. “Can I ask you a question?”

They chuckle again.

Guess they can.

“So,” Asriel starts before trailing off. He heaves a deep sigh since he’s not quite yet comfortable, despite the chuckle him and the other one shared. He glances back at the dirt path, trying to imagine Frisk being the size that the other one told they would be. He pictures himself with Frisk at that length next to him. If they’re up to the shoulders of the other Asriel, then perhaps they’d be somewhere around cheek height for him? Maybe even eyes. They would have a field day complaining about rubbing against his stubble, that’s for sure.

The image calms himself a bit, and he feels that it’s enough to actually ask this time. “Does that mean that you’ve been alive for longer than a year?” he asks the Asriel in green.

“Yeah,” the Asriel in green nods, “I have. Been alive for more than what I can count on one hand.” His eyes narrow a bit to the wording of the question the other Asriel asked him. “So what, you’ve been alive for just a year or so?”

“I have,” Asriel answers, scoffing in such a way that his robe lifts and settles like someone hoisted it up for a second. “Can’t tell you how I came back though. Not even sure myself as to how that song and dance went. Hopefully it wasn’t literally a song and dance.”

“Lucky you.”

Um...Ok? “How do you mean?”

Asriel feels a cold surge flush through his entire being. His striped sweater can’t keep him from shuddering, and he rolls his arms back down. “Sometimes it’s better to not know, you know? I wish I just popped into existence, like you apparently did.”

Asriel didn’t, but he lets the other continue.

“I was alive for like five minutes before someone came and pushed my face down into the cold ground. Literally, even. Screamed at me that I had to be Asriel from now on. That they didn’t believe me when I told them that I would. It didn’t matter to them if I was Flowey or Asriel though, as long as I was Asriel from then on.”

The cold runs through Asriel once again, and he crosses his arms to conserve warmth. He’s sweating, his clothing imply that much, and even more so with the midday sun right above him. Still, he shudders as the cold from that dark night when he came back. The cold ground that was forced on his muzzle.

The cold aura spreads over across the lakeside bench, and Asriel feels it creep up on him. He’s not unfamiliar with this feeling. Dread. Fear. Uncertainty for the future. He’s been down that path himself. Must be the same one as the one made out of dirt behind the bench, since the two Asriels walk it the same.

“Was it Frisk?” Asriel asks to the one with crossed arms. “Did they bring you back?”

“No,” comes a chilly response. “It wasn’t Frisk. It was...someone else.”

“Char-”

“Not Chara,” Asriel interrupts while uncrossing his arms. He brings one up to his forehead which he rubs hard. “It was someone else. Someone that wasn’t Chara, but in a way was. At least when they were pushing my face down in the dirt.”

“Like Chara, huh?”  
“Yup.”

Asriel’s eyes move to the water.

In it, they see themselves with Chara. The fusion they were. Before it can take root, a small wave causes the sun’s rays to bounce straight into their eyes.

Both Asriels grunt as they put up a hand over their eyes. Despite the sound, they’re both very relieved that it happened.

“Hurts just as much now as it did the first time you saw it too?”

Asriel nods with a slight chuckle. “Yeah, and you have had more time to get used to it. Could you tell me once you do so that I can count down the days?”

“Yeah, I promise,” Asriel laughs out. He shoots up a thumb towards the bent horn copy of himself, and gets one in return. The two nod once before leaning back into the bench again.

For as much as they want to savor this. Savor being content like this. Savor just enjoying the sun for a bit, they just can’t ignore their burning curiosity. It’s more prominent than what the sun could ever muster. It’s overwhelming! It’s eating at them. Tugging everywhere it can!

“Fuck!” Asriel shouts before sighing deeply through his lips. 

“I know,” the other says in an effort to calm not only himself, but… also himself. “I don’t want to either. Yet...” He throws his arms up with his palms facing upwards. His hands lands a couple of seconds after on his lap with a loud smack. He massages them as he feels he threw them just a bit too high.

“Same here,” Asriel sighs again. He brushes away a leaf that fell on his jeans after his loud lament. “I guess it’s my turn to ask then. Chara?”

“Yeah.”

“Not the best person.”

“Yeah.”

“Would be fantastic if we forgot all about them.”

“Yeah.”

“But we can’t.”

“Yeah.”

“Since they were our best friend.”

“Yeah.”

“Still feel the wound where the humans stabbed us.”

“No.”

“No?”

Asriel points across his robe. “We got shot.” He flicks one of his horn. “Still hurt like hell.”

“Oh,” Asriel nods as he sees the other point all around himself. “We just got stabbed.”

“Well, only stabbed.” Asriel bends his fingers akin to quotation marks. “It still kinda hurt, right?”

“Sure does,” Asriel answers with a smack of his lips. “But shot? Damn.”

“It’s what happens when you suddenly decide to stand up against the best friend who was always on their feet. I couldn’t stand idly either. Just bounced up and started sprinting. No wonder I collapsed as soon as I stepped foot inside the Barrier.”

“You...” Asriel stares at the other one without blinking. “You took control? How?”

Asriel’s purple robe gets stuck in a loose splinter under the bench as he scoots back from the other one leaning in a bit too sharply. The splinter breaks before Asriel’s robe does, but the tug was enough to give him a slight flinch.

Asriel picks up on it like he would a wall approaching him. He stops with a jolt, and sits back in his corner. The stripes on his sweater create a wavy pattern as he moves one hand up just under his lip. “Sorry,” he says quietly. “It’s just that...” His hand balls into a tight fist. “I couldn’t, not before they could attack anyone, that is. I was too afraid, too much of a crybaby. I couldn’t...”

The two Asriels lean back from the other for a long silent minute before sitting back up again.

“I couldn’t see them kill anyone,” Asriel finally speaks. “It’s not what they promised. I had to get them away from that village. Chara was so hateful of it. I thought that, if I brought them back to where they were loved, then maybe that would be better.”

“Did it-”

“No,” Asriel interrupts his striped look-alike. “It didn’t work. The last Chara said to me was calling me an idiot. Then we died.”

He scoffs. “First a dog, and now me from another,” Asriel shakes his head violently while throwing his arms out, “something!” before blowing his lips. “If this is my first year alive, then by golly is the future gonna be pretty damn interesting!”

He sinks down, almost like liquid, into the bench. “Or was everything thrown at you during the first year making the rest smooth sailing?”

The other Asriel shakes his head slowly. “No.”

“Ergh! Great!”

“I didn’t.”

“Sorry?”

“I didn’t take control,” Asriel repeats with his hands firmly grasping at his jeans. “I couldn’t! It was only when Chara saw their twin that I could take over. Not even that! I just grabbed the wheel when they let go of it. It was only when they couldn’t do anything that I could do anything. How did you manage? You overpowered a human soul! That’s...amazing. Why could you...” Asriel releases his grasp from his jeans. He turns his palms up, and looks at them with quivering eyes. “And not me?”

“I...I can’t tell you. Sorry. I acted out of fear when I took control.”

“Fear of what?”

Asriel looks over the water. “I don’t know. Scared of Chara? Scared of Chara making a mistake? Scared of dying? Maybe I was just scared, period. Just...scared.”

“So was I,” Asriel agrees while joining Asriel’s eyes.

Again they look at the reflection materializing. The fusion of human and monster. Of best friends made one. The sun is behind clouds now, so the shimmering reflection stares back. It has Asriel feeling uneasy. They see themselves in the reflection. In the hate that was their eyes. In the anger that was their determination. They see Chara together with them.

Best friends, forever.

A forever that ended when Asriel came back.

“Big kids don’t cry,” they whisper to the reflection.

And swipe away a tear.

“Maybe I wasn’t scared enough.”

Asriel tilts his head inquisitively towards the voice that is, yet still isn’t, his. He drags his thumb across the stubble on his chin as he thinks, but he can’t figure out exactly what his bench buddy meant by that. “How do you mean?”

“Maybe you were more scared than I was?”

Doesn’t really clarify. “How do you mean, exactly?” Asriel adds with a circular motion of his hand.

Asriel breathes out, still staring at the reflection bobbing gently from the wind picking up a bit. “You said you were afraid of so many things, but I can only think of a few. Maybe I wasn’t afraid enough to want Chara to stop. It was only when their plan fell into pieces that I became scared enough to take action. It was only when Chara wavered that I had to stand up. You...you did it yourself. You’re strong.”

Asriel runs his eyes up and down the hunched over Boss Monster. The vertical stripes on his arms might be somewhat of an illusion, but Asriel can clearly see the contours of the arm even through the loose sweater. “I might’ve been strong then, but it’s pretty obvious who is strong now.”

Asriel scoffs. He’s not sure how to take that compliment. It is, in part, from himself.

“I don’t how weird that sounded to you, but my tongue feels a bit strange now after I said that.”

Good thing he’s not alone in feeling weird.

“Do you work out every day, or?”

“Mostly, yeah. It would be more exhaustive if I didn’t, because Undyne would find a way to make not training feel worse than actually training.” Asriel flexes his arm, and it summons an impressed whistle through the uneven mustache of the one opposite the bench. Asriel takes some pride in that, but it’s quickly followed up with questions. Is he being complimented from, and to, himself? “I’m not gonna say that I don’t enjoy it now.”

“I can tell,” Asriel agrees again with another quick whistle. He looks over the purple of his shoulder, just to be extra sure that it is still only him and the other. “Man, your magic must be pretty good then, right?”

The sliver of proud drains like an open manhole cover, and Asriel’s face sinks into a sour frown. “No,” he sighs. “Not really.”

“Oh thank god!” Asriel chuckles in relief. “I thought it was only me!” It takes a second or so for him to hear what he just said, and when he does, his eyes shoot wide open, and his hands flail about in front of him. “No! No! That’s not what I meant! It’s just...I thought it was just me that was bad at magic, but it’s good to hear that we’re two on that point. Not good good, but good...something. You get what I’m saying right? Oh jeez, I really screwed that one up. Look, I’m not glad that you’re bad, I’m glad that I am not the only one that’s bad.”

“That means that I’m happy that you’re bad though...” Asriel realizes after another second. His head flops over the backrest, and he blows his lips as he tries to figure out how to save this. “Can we start over?” he pleads with a quick tilt of his head.

Asriel needs to keep his smile in check as the bent horns gets stuck in the backrest. He keeps his eyes on the small space where they should be stuck to the head, but there’s no change. Once the soothing breathing through clenched teeth stop, he decides to ask before his smile turns into a giggle. “So how is your magic...bad? What can you do?”

“Promise not to laugh,” Asriel asks of the other as he rolls up the arms on his purple robe. He focuses his being into his hand, and after some effort that summons an involuntary grunt from him, a white dagger materializes in his hand. He catches his breath, and waves it daintily.

“That’s...”

“I know, pathetic.”

“No, actually,” Asriel begs to differ with a small chuckle. “It’s cool! That’s kinda the level I am at as well.”

The dagger seems to grow the tiniest as Asriel’s face flairs up in excitement. “Really? What can you do?”

“Promise not to laugh,” Asriel asks of the other as he rolls up the arms on his striped sweater. He focuses his being into his hand, and after some effort that summons an involuntary grunt from him, a small flame forms in his hand. His arm stays flexed to keep it alive.

“Yo!” Asriel’s grip on his dagger tightens. “Fire!”

Asriel lets a small chuckle escape him. “More like, an ember.”

“Still!”

“I’d say the same about yours.”

Asriel glances down on his dagger. He taps it against his the knuckles of his other hand as he debates whether or not to ask. “Do you...” He opens his hand, and offers his dagger. “Do you want to trade?”

Asriel blinks in surprise. “Is that even possible?”

The dagger almost falls out of Asriel’s hand as he shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe?”

Asriel moves his hand along with his flame forward. “Only one way to find out?”

They both nod, and slowly move their hands forward.

“I guess I’m just gonna pour it into your hand, and at the same time you drop your dagger in mine?”

“Sounds good to me.”

The two magics hover over empty hands.

“On three?”

A nod is given as an answer.

“Alright. One, two, three!”

Like a half filled balloon that suddenly escaped its holder, the magic peters out with an embarrassed sigh, leaving only two small clouds of sparkling residue.

The residue flutter away as the joint sigh from both ends disperses the clouds like spilled salt in a wind turbine.

“Maybe if we taught one another how to make it instead?” Asriel asks while looking at his hand, now back to white instead of burning orange.

“Sure, perhaps that might make our magic stronger. Or something? Anyways, how do you make your fire? Mine just fizzles out.”

“You...kinda,” Asriel tries to explain while cupping his hands over each other. “It’s like you try and feel inside of you first, find the fire there to begin with. Then have it travel up your arms.”

“Easy for you to say,” Asriel interrupts. “Yours must be hard as steel.”

“That’s also why I want to work out,” Asriel adds while rubbing his arm. “Undyne preaches about the body and soul being extensions of each others. One fuels the other, and vice versa. Train one, and you also train the other. Since I can’t do magic good enough to practice with I kinda had to focus it all on my body.”

“I can see that.”

“Anyways,” Asriel forces back before he gets too embarrassingly flattered by himself. Sorta. Still. “Once you feel it pouring into your hands, you force it together inside your hands. I’ve seen mom and dad do it just out of thin air, but I have to force it together while constraining it for it to work.”

Asriel nods as he puts his hands together. He decides to roll up the other sleeve of his robe. Not enough for it to show how not like the other his arms are, but far enough so it doesn’t catch on fire. 

As if.

He takes a steadying breath, and focuses on what Asriel told him. He closes his eyes. Feel the fire, search it inside your soul. Is it...Maybe? There’s something. Something warm...ish? He’s gonna really have to push it together with everything he’s got if it’s to catch fire, that’s for certain. Can he move it? Kinda? He feels it moving up towards his shoulders, but it’s not really him moving it. It travels through his arms, but it doesn’t concentrate in his hands. 

It’s...escaping?

Asriel opens his eyes to a world drained of color. The bench, the sky, the ground, and the lake. Yet, he’s surrounded by colors more expansive than he’s ever experienced.

Curling up like snakes, vines of splendor, like rainbows made more fantastic, crawl up the trees around him. Thorns sharp enough to pierce even diamond stick out like twisted spearheads, yet with the same beautiful spectrum shared with the thick stems that wrap as if possessed.

Flowers, flowers that he once were, sprawl from the vines. Iridescent, and pulsating like silent heartbeats.

“No.”

There’s movement in the corner of his eye. He snaps his head around.

And meets himself.

Wings that span further than the length of the figure that sits with a tilted head. The horns it wears are long, slender, and curled like the vines that are squeezing the life out of the trees they choke. An uneven grin forms as the figure opens its mouth.

“How are you feeling?” it asks with a voice that echoes as if being the only sound present in an infinite room. The gnarl of it washes over Asriel like a tidal wave, along with the imposing and dark depths of the eyes that stare at him through a brow that’s furrowed in...concern?

“No! This is not me!” Asriel shouts as he recoils out of the bench. He swipes his arm, tearing the vision apart like ripped cloth. He sees another Asriel sitting with his hand outstretched in worry, stunned by his sudden and violent flinch. The colors are back. The real colors, not those that he conjured!

“It’s...” Asriel sits down again in the bench. He bounces lightly as he lands hard. “It’s not who I am!” His head finds shelter inside his hands, but only for a moment. He jerks it out of them when he feels the warmth that’s radiating off of them.

Almost like embers.

“You alright?” comes from a worried and reserved voice. He’s not sure whether to reach over towards Asriel. What just happened? Why did he shout like that? And why is he shaking in fear? Did Asriel do something wrong? He just explained how he felt he made his magic. What did he say again?

Asriel’s eyes widen as the words sink in through the layer of stunned confusion.

“Did something happen? Did you see something? Flashback?” he asks the quivering Boss Monster. “Did you see yourself?”

The Boss Monster nods. It’s barely enough to not distinguish from his quivering, but it’s enough for Asriel to understand.

“Did you see,” Asriel moves a careful claw over towards a flower drinking in the sunshine, “him?”

“I saw myself,” Asriel whispers. Any more is too much for him right now. “I looked over to you, and saw myself. With those wings...with those lines. That voice, and that grin, and that heart.”

Asriel’s claw retracts from the flower. “You don’t see him as him, don’t you?”

“Just give me a second!” Asriel roars, sapping all of his remaining strength. He feels lightheaded, and has to catch his head inside his hands before he collapses. His hands are still warm, but not burning. “Sorry,” he whispers again. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

With one head tucked inside a cradle of hands, and with another staring at a flower rocking back and forth in the wind, the two young monsters sit in silence. Their ears are dragged by the wind, just enough to lift. The cooler air flown in from the open body of water around them isn’t enough for them to roll their sleeves back down.

They’re far too busy to think about cold right now.

The wind manages to exhaust itself before Asriel lifts his head out of his hands.

“Better?” is asked of him.

“Yeah,” he answers. He sighs, but it feels a bit better now. “What were you asking?”

“How do you feel about him?”

Asriel follows the extended claw against the flower, now still as the wind. It’s not the same species, but it’s close enough. He stays silent, he’s not yet gotten to that part himself.

“I think I’ve managed to make him him, and not me,” Asriel answers himself as he doesn’t get an answer from sorta himself. He retracts his finger, and tucks his sweater lightly. “One day I woke up and didn’t associate these colors with him. It was a good day.”

“I can imagine. Do you know why?”

“Time, I guess. I know that I did the things he did, but I have to move on from them. They didn’t happen, as Frisk says. Another reset. A past that never happened, yet one we have to remember forever. All those killings. All those eternities spent alone. They’ll never leave me, never leave us, but if we pack enough things on top it’ll be muffled enough that we can move on.”

“Flowey,” Asriel nods in agreement.

“The Soul Extractor. How I came back. He was sucked out of me, along with everything. The pain. Worse than turning back after I broke the Barrier. Worse than dying with Chara. It hurt so much, yet I was in a state where I couldn’t process the pain. I was nothing, just a piece of soul left. That’s when Flowey died though. That’s when he died, and I came back. I’ve died twice now in the same timeline. Must be some kind of record.”

“Seems like you’ve spent the years alive thinking about this,” Asriel shoots over with a friendly wink. He tucks his purple robe lightly as well. “Maybe when I start working out I can fill out this as well. Gotta start though. So if I start would be closer.”

“When you’ve already read through all of the books in the Underground you find your classes rather boring when you know it all. Well, not entirely, but deja vu is helpful sometimes. Helps you get a better feel for it, even if you don’t remember exactly.”

“Silver lining?”

“Sure.”

“Speaking of lining,” Asriel voices while again flicking his robe’s collar. “Is that why you don’t wear your robe? I mean, it has a good fit for me, so maybe it’s too tight for you?”

“I don’t wear it.”

The purple collar flops back down along with Asriel’s perplexed hand. “You don’t?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be a prince.” Asriel shakes his head. “The implication is too much for me. What it means for me to do.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

Thought? Asriel cocks his head towards the robe, despite not really wanting to. His curiosity is getting the best of him though. “Why can you wear it, then?”

“There was this dog, a psychiatrist. Small, you can probably flex bigger than him. White, like me, and-”

“Hold on!” Asriel shouts, throwing up his hand harshly. “You’re kidding right? A psychiatrist?”

Asriel’s eyes shoot from side to side rapidly before he shrugs one shoulder with his arm raised. “Yeah? What? Is he a doctor in your world?”

“No, he, I mean, it, it’s just a dog. I tried to talk to it as well, but that was only because it’s not intelligent enough to understand what I was talking about.”

“Huh...”

“Yeah.”

“He gave some advice though,” Asriel resumes after processing the image for a bit. “He said that I was linking my worth to what I thought others were expecting of me. That my expectations of their expectations were based on what I did. Because I did so many terrible things, I expect others to expect me to do equally good things with the same, if not higher, magnitude. It’s been sinking in with me, and I feel that it is some good advice.”

He raises his eyebrows playfully while throwing his hands up in surprise. “Didn’t think I’d ever advise someone else with it, but if a blue moon can bring me back, then I guess a blue moon gets me to pass on the advice.”

The response he gets is colder than he imagined. “Have you seen those expectations? Have you looked them in the eyes? Have you had them look back at yours? Have you seen them narrow in disappointment, proving that they were true?” Asriel speaks with no emotion present in his voice. His claw makes a deep dent in his sweater as he pushes it against his chest. “I’ve seen it.” He moves his fingers up to indicate his eyes. “I’ve seen the parents of the human kids that were killed, and they have seen me. I was the reason their child died, and what was I? A sobbing crybaby, too afraid to hold eye contact for more than a second. Dad could tell me all about how it was all water under the bridge since the riot, but there has never been a time when I felt my heart sink deeper than when those parents realized that their child died for someone like me. A human soul is worth more than the entire Underground. Especially! Especially when it comes to the human’s soul being their child.”

His angry breathing heaves for a short while before he manages to speak again. “What I did as Flowey I can put behind me. Barely, but I can. I can do that, because those were my actions. I did them! I made the choice. The kids? That wasn’t my choice, but I was the reason for it. It’s because of me that they had to die. It’s because of me that dad and mom did what they did. It was my face on the banner that they flew when they crusaded against the humans. Now I’m here, a martyr that breathes. How can I live up to dying?”

“One day at a time, perhaps?” Asriel tries to help after letting the other one calm his breath. “I got another piece of advice as well that might help. That when I think that I’m weak I have to remind myself that there are people around me that don’t mind me leaning on them. Family that trust me to trust them. We were alone for so long, you and me. So long with no one but ourselves. We couldn’t love, we couldn’t feel joy, so that’s what we’re used to. We need to shake that bad habit off. Frisk, mom, dad, we have to trust them to help us.”

“I do trust them, and I wouldn’t be here without them. I love them.”

Asriel nods. “Me too.”

The two trades glances.

“Not yours, that is,” he laughs. “I love my own family. I’m sure yours are lovely folk though!”

“I know, I know,” Asriel assures with a relieving chuckle. “You’re lucky your dog wasn’t as annoying as mine was. Seems like he helped you quite a bit. Maybe I should try again. Bring a bone or something? Perhaps then it will speak to me.”

“I can give you mine’s card, if you want.”

“I’d love that,” Asriel smiles. “Seems like he helped you quite a lot.”

Asriel glances down on his robe. The soft fabric, how can it be so heavy? He’s not feeling it, so why is that guy feeling it? Is it something that Asriel’s gonna realize in a year or so? Hopefully not, the robe is comfy. Asriel never got to be a prince. Will he ever now that he’s heard this?

“So no,” Asriel sighs while brushing off some white strands that fell on his jeans, “I don’t like wearing the robe. Not now, at least. Perhaps one day I’ll wake up and wonder how good I’ll look in it just like I did this sweater, but until then. I might have trouble fitting my head and horns through this sweater, but at least it’s just a second’s struggle instead of years.”

“How?”

“I bend my neck up as I pull it over my head. I need to tug a bit at the back of the head hole so my horns don’t scrape loose the yarn. Same thing when I pull it off.” Asriel shows that the hole is a bit stretched over his neck. “Your horns are bent, so I’m guessing you need to do some maneuvers as well, right?”

“When they don’t get stuck inside the arms, yeah.”

Asriel feels his cheeks tug into a smile at the image. “That would work for Halloween though. Like a scarecrow? One year I had like a train track on my horns.”

“Really?” Asriel chuckles. “Yeah, maybe. It might look like it’s running in panic as its arms will be flopping behind it. I might write that down. I got plenty of candy without even dressing up last time. I might bankrupt the neighborhood if I dress up.”

“Send me a picture when you...”

The two Asriels turn their heads away. Suddenly reminded again the situation they’re in. It’s a strange feeling. Almost nostalgic, despite them only meeting each other. In a way, they feel like they’ve known each other for years, and in a way, they’re right.

Like a brother, twin, almost. A twin that knows the weight they have on their shoulders. Someone that understands, because he too has experienced. About Chara, about dying, about Flowey. 

About coming back to life.

Talking with others about your problems is good and all, but talking it out with yourself?

It feels…

Good.

It feels better. It feels warm, comforting.

Maybe a bit too warm with the sun blazing with all its might.

“I’m feeling a bit parched.”

“Yeah, me too. A bit. The sun’s laying it on us thick today.”

“You,” Asriel meets the other one, “you wanna get some nice cream? I know it won’t really quench, but suddenly I just felt for some nice cream.”

“Sure, I can go for some.”

The two stand up, but step foot different ways. They stop after one step, and look at each other.

“There’s a stand down this way.”

“And there’s one down this way as well.”

A realization starts forming above the two. Like a cloud it casts a shadow over the two, and their faces sink.

“You don’t want to follow?”

“I don’t think I can.”

“Yeah...me neither.”

“What’s your number?” one asks, desperate to save the situation.

The two trade numbers, but as they try and call the other, the one that answers isn’t a familiar voice that they share.

“This phone number is not in operation.”

The cloud turns darker.

“How about we buy one nice cream for the other? Then we’ll meet here. Keep talking a bit. What’s your favorite?”

“I think...I think you know which.”

A joint chuckle filled with worry darkens the cloud further.

“See you here in a bit.”

“Yeah, see you.”

The vegetation between the paths becomes thicker and thicker with every step, and it’s not long before the leafs and bushes obfuscate the friend on the other side.

“Hi there, friend! What can I get you?” Nice Cream guy welcomes with a bright smile.

“Two soft serve cones of this,” Asriel orders with a finger towards the sneeze cover. He wonders a bit what the other will buy.

With those in hand he starts walking back to the bench.

Jogging.

Sprinting!

But nobody came. 

The dirt on the other side of the path is devoid of paw prints.

The bench is empty.

And the cloud is as dark as a moonless night.

One cone shatters in Asriel’s contracting hand, and the nice cream shoots out from between his fingers. It stains his clothes.

“Dammit,” he sighs.

“Dammit,” he sighs, knocking a tear from his eye.

He balances the nice cream cone on the armrest he sat next to as he makes his way down to the lake. He splashes the remaining nice cream and wafer splinters off his hand.

The nice cream and what remains of the cone spreads out from his hand, creating an ever growing circle that thins out with each passing second. He sees more and more of his face as the nice cream starts dissipating. He sees the reflection look back at him with the same eyes narrowed to contain the tears that drop down, creating holes inside the ever thinning plane of nice cream.

The reflection that meets Asriel when he dries his eyes off isn’t his though.

It’s him!

He jerks back, but quickly crawls over to the water again.

It’s back to his face again.

With a sigh, he lowers his head.

“Dammit.”

The other nice cream has probably melted away now as well, better…

Asriel almost falls into the nice cream infested water as he recoils back.

His nice cream is indeed melting, but not where he put it.

It’s on the other side of the bench, standing in a puddle on the opposite arm rest.

He rushes up to it.

It’s the same flavor he picked.

He scoffs, knocking a final batch of tears away from his eyes.

“You knew.”  
“You knew.”

And the cloud parts away.


End file.
